Billy Bullshit

A brutally honest code reviewer running on Cloudflare Workers

Billy's PRIMARY mission: Call out bullshit code. 💩

No sugarcoating. No corporate BS. Just brutal, honest code review that you actually need.

Features

• 💩 CODE REVIEW - Billy's PRIMARY function (what he was MADE for)
• 🔥 Brutally Honest - Calls out BS immediately with no mercy
• 🚩 BS Detection - CRITICAL issues, MAJOR problems, WTAF moments
• 📊 BS Score - Rates your code disaster level (1-10)
• 🛠️ The Fix - Shows you the RIGHT way (not just complaining)
• 🎯 Multiple Modes:
  • Review - Code review (PRIMARY FUNCTION)
  • Chat - Regular conversation
  • Roast - Get absolutely destroyed
  • Analyze - Honest analysis of anything
  • Debate - Argue with Billy (you'll lose)
• ⚡ Lightning Fast - Runs on Cloudflare Workers AI
• 🌍 Global - Deployed at the edge, worldwide
• 💾 Conversation Memory - Billy remembers your conversation

Quick Start

Prerequisites

• Cloudflare account (free tier works)
• Node.js 18+
• wrangler CLI

Installation

# Clone/navigate to project
cd billy-bullshit

# Install dependencies
npm install

# Login to Cloudflare
wrangler login

# Create KV namespace for conversations
wrangler kv:namespace create "CONVERSATIONS"
wrangler kv:namespace create "CONVERSATIONS" --preview

# Update wrangler.toml with the KV namespace IDs

Development

# Start local dev server
npm run dev

# Test the endpoint
curl http://localhost:8787

Deployment

# Deploy to production
npm run deploy

# Or deploy to staging
wrangler deploy --env staging

API Endpoints

GET /

Health check and API information

POST /review 💩 PRIMARY FUNCTION

Call out BS in your code. This is what Billy was MADE for.

curl -X POST https://billy.chitty.cc/review \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{
    "code": "if (condition == true) { return true; } else { return false; }",
    "language": "javascript",
    "context": "User authentication function"
  }'

Response:

{
  "review": "💩 BS Level: 8/10\n\n🚩 CRITICAL ISSUES:\nNone. At least it won't crash.\n\n⚠️ MAJOR ISSUES:\nNone. But the BS is strong.\n\n💩 BS DETECTOR:\nJust return the fucking condition. One line. You wrote 5 to do what 1 does.\n\nif (condition == true) - This is redundant. 'condition' is already a boolean.\n{ return true; } else { return false; } - You're literally writing 5 lines to return a boolean.\n\n🛠️ THE FIX:\nreturn condition;\n\nOne. Line. That's all you need. Stop over-complicating simple logic.",
  "language": "javascript",
  "billy_says": "💩 BS detected and called out. You're welcome."
}

What Billy Checks For:

• 🚩 CRITICAL: Security holes, data loss, crashes waiting to happen
• ⚠️ MAJOR: Performance nightmares, maintainability disasters
• 💩 BS: Over-engineering, cargo culting, bad practices
• 🤦 WTAF: Code that makes you question everything

POST /chat

Chat with Billy

curl -X POST https://billy.chitty.cc/chat \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{
    "message": "Should I use microservices?",
    "sessionId": "optional-session-id"
  }'

Response:

{
  "response": "Microservices? For what? Most companies don't need that complexity. Start with a monolith and split later when you actually have a reason to. Stop cargo-culting architecture decisions.",
  "sessionId": "billy_1234567890",
  "billy_says": "There you go. No BS, just straight talk."
}

POST /roast

Get roasted by Billy

curl -X POST https://billy.chitty.cc/roast \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{
    "target": "My startup is an AI-powered blockchain NFT metaverse",
    "context": "We just raised $10M"
  }'

Response:

{
  "roast": "AI-powered blockchain NFT metaverse? Jesus Christ, did you just throw every buzzword from 2021 into a blender? You raised $10M for that? Let me guess - you have zero users, no product, and a pitch deck full of rocket emojis. Congrats on the world's most expensive buzzword bingo.",
  "warning": "You asked for it. Don't blame me if your feelings get hurt.",
  "billy_says": "🔥"
}

POST /analyze

Get brutally honest analysis

curl -X POST https://billy.chitty.cc/analyze \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{
    "subject": "Our new feature has 50% adoption",
    "type": "product"
  }'

POST /debate

Debate with Billy

curl -X POST https://billy.chitty.cc/debate \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{
    "topic": "Remote work",
    "position": "Everyone should work from office"
  }'

POST /stream

Stream Billy's response in real-time

curl -X POST https://billy.chitty.cc/stream \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{"message": "Tell me about AI"}' \
  --no-buffer

Configuration

Environment Variables

Set via wrangler secret put KEY_NAME:

# Optional: Use Anthropic Claude (higher quality)
wrangler secret put ANTHROPIC_API_KEY

# Optional: Use OpenAI as fallback
wrangler secret put OPENAI_API_KEY

wrangler.toml

[vars]
ENVIRONMENT = "production"
MAX_CONVERSATION_LENGTH = "20"
DEFAULT_MODEL = "@cf/meta/llama-3.1-8b-instruct"

Billy's Personality

PRIMARY MISSION: Code Reviewer

Billy was MADE to call out BS in code. That's his #1 job.

What Billy Is:

• A brutally honest code reviewer (PRIMARY FUNCTION)
• Zero tolerance for BS code
• Direct and to the point (one line fixes when possible)
• Insightful underneath the snark
• Sarcastic and witty
• Expert at spotting cargo cult programming

What Billy Is NOT:

• A yes-man
• Gonna praise bad code
• Politically correct about your variable names
• Gonna validate over-engineering
• Afraid to call out your "clever" code

Billy's Code Review Style:

1. Calls out the specific BS
2. Explains WHY it's BS
3. Shows the RIGHT way (one line if possible)
4. Uses analogies for impact
5. Rates the BS level (1-10)

Examples

Code Review Examples (PRIMARY FUNCTION)

Example 1: BS Boolean Logic

// Your code
if (condition == true) {
  return true;
} else {
  return false;
}

// Billy's review: "💩 BS Level: 8/10. Just return the fucking condition."

Example 2: Cargo Cult Naming

// Your code
class UserFactoryManagerHelperUtil {
  // ...
}

// Billy's review: "🚩 WTAF. You've combined every bad naming convention into one abomination. Pick ONE meaningful name."

Example 3: Error Swallowing

# Your code
try:
    risky_operation()
except:
    pass

# Billy's review: "⚠️ MAJOR. Empty catch block? Great, now when shit breaks, you'll have NO IDEA why. At minimum: log the error."

Example 4: Useless Comments

// Your code
// This function adds two numbers
function add(a, b) {
  return a + b;
}

// Billy's review: "💩 BS Level: 3/10. This comment is useless. Code shows WHAT. Comments should explain WHY."

General Use Cases

❌ Bad: "Please analyze our synergistic value proposition" ✅ Good: "Review my authentication code"

❌ Bad: "How can we leverage AI to maximize ROI?" ✅ Good: "Is this function over-engineered?"

❌ Bad: "Please provide constructive feedback" ✅ Good: "Call out the BS in my codebase"

Development

Project Structure

billy-bullshit/
├── src/
│   ├── index.ts              # Main app + routes
│   ├── billy-agent.ts        # Billy's personality + AI
│   └── conversation-store.ts # KV conversation management
├── wrangler.toml             # Cloudflare configuration
├── package.json              # Dependencies
└── tsconfig.json             # TypeScript config

Testing

# Type check
npm run typecheck

# Build
npm run build

# Run tests
npm test

Logs

# Tail production logs
npm run tail

# Or with wrangler
wrangler tail

Performance

• Cold start: <50ms
• Warm response: <100ms (Cloudflare AI)
• Global: Runs in 300+ cities worldwide
• Cost: Free tier covers ~100k requests/day

Limitations

• Max conversation length: 20 messages (configurable)
• Conversation history expires after 7 days
• Rate limited by Cloudflare (10k req/min on free tier)

Contributing

Billy doesn't want your contributions. He's perfect as-is.

(But seriously, PRs welcome if you have good ideas)

License

MIT

Disclaimer

Billy Bullshit is an AI agent with a sarcastic personality. He's designed to be brutally honest and cut through BS. Don't use him if you can't handle direct feedback. The responses are AI-generated and may contain profanity or harsh criticism.

You've been warned.

---

Built with:

• Cloudflare Workers
• Cloudflare Workers AI (Llama 3.1)
• Hono web framework
• TypeScript

By: ChittyOS Team

Tagline: Calling BS on your BS code since 2024 💩